Emily Ampersand.

Educator. Writer. Daydreamer. Big heart. Small life. Lover of beautiful words especially of the heartsick variety.

Poll Time! What should I write about?

I’m choosing a conference paper topic for my English grad class. It can be on anything literary related that interests me. If you know me, you know my love for young adult literature. I am debating between a few topics regarding this subject:

  1. The role of the female character in contemporary young adult literature and its implications for society. What traits do they typically exhibit? What does this tell us about female outliers? Are we progressing as much as we think we are?
  2. The rise in adult readership of young adult literature. What is it about YA fiction that draws in readers from every walk of life? 
  3. Or, are both of these nonsensical?

I’m nervous because the prompt is so open-ended and this will be my very first grad school paper. I wanted to make it something that actually interests me. I don’t want to do some mundane pedagogical review paper. I want my passion to truly come out in my writing. Any comments/suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

Thoughts on thoughts on thoughts.

I love sleepovers. I love going to Christian’s house & spending the night. But, there’s nothing quite like walking back into my place in the morning & relaxing alone for a while. It makes me wonder if I’d be able to share my space again. I lived with my ex for almost three years. But, it felt almost as though I lived alone because we were always on opposite schedules. 

We are falling into a lovely routine though. One that is allowing us time with each other as well as alone time. Grad school is frankly kicking my ass. I certainly had this romanticized version of what it was going to be like. But, let’s get real. It’s still school. There are papers due & group work & a shit-ton of reading. But, I have to keep the big picture in mind. I have to remember my goals & realize this is all for a much larger purpose.

It’s been two months since my friend passed away suddenly. I haven’t really been dealing with or thinking about it much. I suppose you could say I’m still in denial. I haven’t been reaching out or hanging out with friends that knew her. I think I am distancing myself in order to prevent me from truly feeling her loss. I know eventually this will catch up with me.

It’s fall & every weekend in October I have something exciting planned. I’m not sure how I got to this point in my life but I really do love it. I feel more connected with people & myself than I think I ever have. Sometimes, feeling these connections gets messy. And, certainly my life is far from perfect. But, that’s okay. Because I’m alive. And, as long as I’m alive, I’m going to attempt to push push push for something bigger & better.

Sometimes, you have to admit you messed up. You have to concede, accept defeat, & move forward with your eyes still fixed on the bigger picture. It helps to get knocked down a peg or two every so often. If only to remember how important it is to stay humble.